Monday, March 31, 2008

One Bike Ride, One Swim, One Run

Hi my name is Brady. I've been a multi-sport athlete for 18 months. Before that, I dabbled in competitive running for about three years. Until recently, I was able to get by. Lately, the pressures of a demanding work schedule with expected overtime is making me go a little silly. Workouts have became my coping relief-valve. Swimming at 6:00AM. Weights over lunch. Running to and from work. Trainer afterwards.

Then when the weather started warming up, I really hit the bike hard. Sometimes I'd ride with groups. Other times, alone. Solo time trials. Trainer rides after hours. Many times, I'd even spin before work or over the lunch hour. It's sad when you have to spin alone.

The insanity at work continued. The intensity picked up. I was losing sleep and a nagging injury was holding me back from training. Then I started hearing George Thorogood in my head. At this point, I was on the verge of losing it...

Wanna tell you a story about the multi sport blues
I run home from work Friday
Told the woman about my job.
She said that don't confront me
long as I get my house cleaned each Friday.
Now next Friday come I didn't get the house cleaned
and out the door I went

So I go down the streets, down to Fredcube's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house, I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell Ms Katherine I'll cope with the job, I'm gonna clean the house
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go downstairs, pack up the saddle bag,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
So I stop in the local bike shop you know people,
I go to the shop, I rack my bike, I call Newell
Said "Look Matt, come down here, son"
So what you want?

One bike ride, one swim, one run.
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been spinning on Ol' Yeller with a big stupid grin
Gonna mash the high gear man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Don't wanna get punked at the starting line gun
I want one ride, one swim, one run.
One bike ride, one swim, one run.

But I'm spinning on Ol' Yeller,
Gatorades' all drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm mashing the 53, I'm turning the big ring, I'm in high gear
Looked down the road, here comes Munson
I said "Look Mike, come here Mitmon
So what you want?

One bike ride, one swim, one run.

No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
gotta get a ride man ain't gonna get passed
Gonna mash the high gear I ain't had enough,
need me a triple shot of that stuff
Don't want Brendan punking me at the starting line gun
I want one ride, one swim, one run.
One bike ride, one swim, one run.

Now by this time I'm endorphin high,
you know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the handlebars I say to Redemske,
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
Bryan said "cyclocomputer say three o'clock
Last call for Algomaha, so what you need?"

One bike ride, one swim, one run.
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
Don't mind getting dropped man when I barely can speak
Gonna spin the high gear man listen to me,
one hour ain't enough Murphini, better make it three
Don't wanna get punked I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want a long ride in my high gear...

One long ride, on Ol' Yeller, in high gear...

Thank you! Thank you!


  1. um....what can be said?

    That you are clever? Yes.
    That you are insane? Yes.
    That you are creative? Yes.
    That you are plagaristic? Yes
    That you are too prolix? Yes.
    That I may be nuts too since I'm responding? Yes.

    Luckily for me, I kicked the triatlon habit in 1986. My sweet baby doll done-cleaned me up. Now instead of being all messed up on triathlons, I'm all messed up on her!

    -Ex PFC Wintergreen

  2. Ohhhh boy. I'm gonna have to think about a proper response for a while.

  3. Murphini: nuts? It's in the gene pool, baby!

    The truth: "Last call for Algomaha" was the reference I was most proud of, Bryan.

  4. It's hard to rhyme Algomaha with anything. But since you got really close, I'll bring you an Algomaha t-shirt* for the next ride.

    *does not actually exist.