Thursday, November 12, 2009

Not Riding. I'm In Training

Excuse me, but what was that?

Not riding. I am in training the rest of the week.

That's what our boy, the real Wes J (as opposed to the fake real Wesley J), instant-messaged me yesterday afternoon when asked about the absence of his roadie on the bike rack.

Oh wait wait, I get it. What Wes J meant was that he was in training for work, as in taking a class or something. That's the reason why he left his bike at home.

But his ambiguity made me think about people who train for their, uh, training.

If I had messaged Lance Armstrong, he might have he replied:

Not riding. I'm in training.

Yeah, that makes sense, right?

You see how confusing that is, Wes J? From that response, would I surmise that LA would forgo a few laps at Juan Pelota's ranch for spinning session on the trainer?

It gets worse. What if I had tweeted Armstrong's coach, Chris Carmichael, about why he didn't ride yesterday. Since Carmichael is a trainer by profession, he could have messaged back:

Not riding, I'm in training with Lance, who's not not riding because he's in training

But what if -- follow me closely now Wes J -- what if Chris Carmichael was not training Lance Armstrong when I tweeted him yesterday, but was actually on the trainer himself, in some sort of twisted, recursively-narcissistic session being coached by himself in his latest spinning video?

He might have tweeted back:

Not riding. Not training. I'm in training

Then again, probably not. My gut tells me he would have replied:

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By the way, Wes J., I'm not riding today. I'm in training. For the Boston Marathon next spring.