Friday, April 5, 2013

Taco Soigneur

A soigneur is a French word for one who cares for the needs of others. In cycling, this means taking care of everything, from transportation, baggage, accommodations, and other personal assistant needs, etc...

I'm a soigneur of sorts. To be accurate, I am a taco soigneur. I'll gladly port tacos for anyone doing the UP taco ride lunch ride to the Dos de Oro taco trucks on S 24th St.

I don't mind being a taco soigneur. I use a Timbuktu messenger bag that Shim gave me last year to haul the goods in. He had previously purchased the bag about 15 years ago from the Bike Way shop, when they were located in Benson. Shim used the bag for a while before he gave up being a hipster/commuter. That was also around the same time he quit smoking and wearing turtlenecks*. After that, the bag sat in his garage  collecting cobwebs and hornets nests.

When he heard that I was looking to get a new one, he chimed up, "I've got a messenger bag you can have."


And wallah. The next day, there it was.

It's a very nice bag. It's roomy with a main compartment, a laptop sleeve and another divider. It has two visible pockets and a secret pocket, too. To secure the contents inside the bag, it has two straps that buckle down the fold over flap. The shoulder strap is thickly padded, and best of all, it has a cross over strap that cinches the bag to rider snugly.

After a good cleaning, including removing the hornet's nest, that old Timbuktu bag looked practically brand new. It's been my daily companion on my commutes and taco rides for over a year now.

What I didn't know when I received the bag was that I was being passively foo'd into being the taco soigneur  too. The truth is that Shim has never asked me to carry his tacos. He's not like that.

The real reason why I ended up being the taco soigneur is because of what happened the last time he carried the tacos for the group. He used a paper sack. Just a paper sack. Now a paper sack's all fine and dandy when your carnitas and chorizo burritos are to be immediately consumed in the parking lot where your car sits. But carrying them in a paper sack while riding a bicycle over five miles of rough roads is asking for trouble. On that particular day -- bless his dear heart -- Shim made it all the way to 16th and Harney, where upon rounding the corner, the drippings of carnitas had long since marinated the paper sack enough to spray its contents all over Harney Street.

That gave a new meaning to the term street tacos.

Since then, I've gladly accepted the role as taco soigneur, using Shim's old Timbuktu messenger bag to haul the goods. Everyone's all smiley and stuff because they know that not only will the tacos arrive safely, but they will be handled well in transit. With contents snug down and cinched firmly, there is no tearing of the moist corn tortillas, no co-mingling of meats and sauces. Just everything as it should be, warm, delicious tacos that some claim to be the best ever.

¡Gracias, y de nada!

* He still wears turtlenecks

11 comments:

  1. Did you know that Shim was a surveyor for the orignial Hipster Highway? He is too humble to admit it himself. Back then Burt street was gravel.

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  2. Jordan, it's always a good idea to verify your facts with two sources. I recommend asking your Mom and Dad if that's true

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  3. Good point. I will ask. However, if I'm not mistaken, that was also before they were around.

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  4. Sounds like you're more of a taco domestique. Or so you also massage Shim's legs?

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  5. So Charlie Burton had this song called garage sale, it went something like this.......©1982 Shameless Music (BMI)

    Garage Sale
    I see a sign on a pole, it makes me lose my self-control.
    You never know what you might find--have you got yours? Now I got mine!!!

    Chorus: I found my baby at the garage sale, I found my baby at the garage sale!!!
    I bought her momma's decoupage pail!!! I found my baby at the garage sale!!!

    Among the clothes and K-Tel discs, our eyes they met amidst the misc.
    You could sense electric shocks starting all the as-is clocks

    (Repeat chorus)

    Now we're married and have a home--we have garage sales all our own!!!
    Lovely to look at, delightful to hold, but don't you break it or else it's sold!!!

    (Repeat chorus)

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  6. Here is an all time favorite of Fred's



    Emergency!!! Memphis nurse!!! Hospital room!!! The phone rings--it's Graceland...come real soon!!!
    No one here knows just what to do, and Elvis lies here turning blue!!!
    The Doctor outside screams where do I go??? The people inside are screaming "No! No! No!"
    He runs to the side of the fallen King, and these are the words that he does sing:

    BREATHE FOR ME, PRESLEY!!!
    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    C'mon and breathe for me!!!

    I saw you "live" once--looking great!!! Tell me now I'm not too late!!!
    Hearing's our last sense to leave, so if your're listening, breathe,breathe, breathe!!!!

    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    C'mon and breathe for me!!!

    See the candle burn out quick--there ain't no more wax. there ain't no more wick.
    Deep fried food made Elvis sick, and too many drugs from Dr. Nick!!!

    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    BREATHE FOR ME PRESLEY!!!
    C'mon and breathe for me!!!

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  7. Truth is Shim ... Since you gave the bag to Brady, it brings to mind another CB song. One man's trash is another man's treasure. One man's pain is another man's pleasure.

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  8. That one also had a garage sale theme, "I was out the other day with my baby and we went to a garage sale, cuz I like to collect antiques and brick-a-brac from a bygone era, I found an old box of 45 records marked 10 cents each, I turned to my baby and said ain't funny baby how one man's trash is another man's treasure? One man's pain is another man's pleasure."

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  9. Hardy har har. You guys are so funny. When will you grow up?

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  10. I know. Jordan and Shim really need to give it a rest. Geez.

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