Friday, April 26, 2013

Season of Schwinn

The unseasonably cold weather has finally broken. The warmer weather that typically accompanies this season is here. And by season, I don't mean Spring. Nope. It's Schwinn season.

The season of Schwinn can mean different things for  people. For some, it means longer daylight hours to ride. For others, it means pulling an oxidized Schwinn out of the car trunk trunk for a 3/4 mile spin from just outside the perimeter of city parking meters to the over-crowded bike racks at work.

Ah, the dynamics of the bike rack in the season of Schwinn. In the winter months, there's plenty of space for angry roadies and the die-hard commuters to peacefully coexist there. Come season of Schwinn?

Yeah, pretty good.

It's what happens over the lunch hour that really gets stuck in my craw. At lunch, the Schwinners jockey their their rusty heaps a few blocks up the city's sidewalks to chow down at the all-you-can-eat Bangkok Thai buffet. I've witnessed it. Have you seen people break into a sweat while gorging themselves on egg rolls? I have. It's gross.

Anyway, when done at the Thai trough, the Schwinners coast their bikes back to work. They arrive at the rack and discover that the end spots have been vacated by the roadies, who are getting a workout in over the lunch hour. You'd think the free parking and easy access to the buffet would be enough indulging. They have no mercy.

Nuh uh. From now on, I'm reserving my spot.

I'll let you know how this works out.


  1. "Sweaty egg roll guy" is my middle name. I think if you at to your sign "(And maybe I'll give you a taco)" you might have more luck with it. But either way - this is really funny.

  2. No. I'm not an enabler. If they want a taco, then they should join in the famous UP Taco Lunch ride. They'll get a workout. They'll get tacos. And best of all, Shim will get his end spot at the bike rack. Win-Win.