Friday, May 3, 2013

V is not for Hoo-ha

The letter "V" isn't for hoo-ha. Fred Hinsley will tell you otherwise, but don't listen to him. Anyway, he's unable to comment on the matter any further due to pending litigation against the Green Street Velo Group's usage of his coined acronym "GSV". YPG, until that's resolved, mum's the word buddy.

So if V isn't for hoo-ha, then what is it for? Victory? Nah. How about vendetta?

Many months ago, Jordan Ross (Team Kaos) told Shim that the theme of the year was going to be "Operation Domination."

Shim cackled.

You see, Jordan made that statement shortly after completing a multi-month kitchen remod project. During that time, Jordan hadn't ridden a bike once. By the time he finished the kitchen project, he was soft. It wasn't that he was a tub of goo or anything, but he also wasn't in much of a position to be making such a brash statement.

Furthermore, this "Operation Domination" statement just didn't seem to fit Jordan's personality. Normally, he's more of humble and reserved kind of guy than to make such a claim. Heck, around these parts he's known more for shoveling his neighbor's driveways and sidewalks than one to claim dominance over the local road scene.

Jordan Ross shoveled everyone's driveways and sidewalks but Leah's
And to make it more preposterous, Jordan had just upgraded to cat 2 at the end of last season. Now when most folks upgrade, they take it in stride, suck wheels and settle for mid-to-bottom pack finishes for awhile before coming out and proclaiming they're going to dominate the scene. Apparently not Jordan; he was going to go after it right out of the gates.

Then came the new bike photos posted on Facebook...

... and all the accompanying harassment about the awesome platform pedals.

Somewhere around that point in time, Jordan went off the grid. Poof. He was gone. He had a mission to accomplish: average Joe nice guy with a score to settle. An operation of domination against all the nay-sayers. A vendetta.

Jordan disappeared and began racking up huge hours on the trainer in a dark, dank basement. He didn't take much time to enjoy his new kitchen with all that time on the trainer. And when it snowed, he didn't give a crap anymore about his neighbors' driveways nor their damn sidewalks. Meredith shoveled instead. Leah had to shovel either way.

Anyway, by the time road season was cranking up, the local cycling scene had mostly forgotten about operation domination.

The first stop of Operation Domination was the Tour de Husker, held on a cold, gloomy and windy day around Branched Oak reservoir. Team Kaos put the hurt on the small cat 1-2-3 field. Lee Bumgarner (Kaos) won, Lucas Marshall (MWCC) was second. But wait wait, what's this -- the former carpenter/snow shoveller Jordan Ross (Kaos) was a very close third.

Lucas Marshall (left), Jordan Ross (right). photo: Michael Dixon

Now some may have considered this result an early season fluke. But there he was, standing on the podium the very next day at Pioneer's Park, right behind Lee and Lucas again.

Then came the Twin Bing classic at Climbing Hill, IA. Again, another podium finish.

A couple weeks later, he traveled to Velotek GP and posted a top ten in a strong field.

And just the past weekend was the Chris Lillig Memorial Cup/Old Capitol Criterium in Iowa, the first stage of the Inaugural Flyover Series. This was a relatively large stage race that attracted the best riders of the region. While helping his teammate Bumgarner to overall victory, Jordan placed seventh in the Omnium results. That's impressive. But what I found even more interesting was his strong time trial finish.

Nice work there, kid. I don't recall TT being your strength in the past. Apparently, it has become one now.

Around here, Team Kaos has been destroying the competition this season. Bumgarner is almost untouchable. But they also have a lot of other weapons. Jordan is certainly one of them.

That settles it for me. The letter V is not for hoo-ha, it's for Vendetta.


  1. "he always seemed like such a quiet and nice young man"

  2. I have no problem with this "Vendetta." Or even a little "Operation Domination" or whatever. If for some reason, Jordan should think of expanding this domination to a national level, say "Grand Scale Vendetta," well, my lawyers will be in touch.

  3. he's still can't ride cx bike to save his life :D

  4. Ooo, good post. Jordan is a great teammate. Strong, smart and selfless.