Thursday, December 17, 2009

Injury Update, part 1 of 3

Please accept my apologies for taken an extended leave. It's not that I haven't had breaking news to share. It's more that I've been giving homage to my homey Fredcube for his excellent blogging as of late. Nice Old Yeller and Blue bike, Fred.

As for late breaking news, here's an update on my injury. This may be confusing to you since there was never an original post on the injury. Trust me, you'll be fine. Let's just jump right in to the latest scoop.

For the better part of five years, I've been fortunate to remain relatively injury free. It's partly design, partly dumb luck. The design part is attributed to being multi-sport focused, as swimming, biking and running doesn't contribute to excessive wear and tear on one particular muscle group. At least in the amount that I'm exercising.

Still, I've neglected a minor injury for a couple of years. I suppose I would have addressed it earlier if it had become critical, but most of the time, it'd remain dormant enough to train through it. When the injury did flare up, an extra day of rest would usually take care of it.

That all changed on Saturday morning, December 5th. On that morning, I was preparing to do a trainer ride at the Trek store. But because I woke up late, I was hurrying to get everything together, including bike, trainer + block, fluids, and an extra bag of clothes. As I ran out the door, I remembered that I forgot to do one last chore before leaving: dump the trash.

And by dumping the trash I don't mean emptying the garbage from under the sink.

Now, in an even-more hurried state (you know where I'm going [and yes it's too late to turn back now]), I strained too much. Way too much. This effort erupted into a nasty, fourth degree hemorrhoid (image).

Fourth-degree hemorrhoids: Hemorrhoids that prolapse and cannot be pushed back in. Fourth-degree hemorrhoids also include hemorrhoids that are thrombosed (containing blood clots) or that pull much of the lining of the rectum through the anus.

I didn't write that last ditty. That gem came from the MedicineNet website.

Back to Saturday. I quickly reevaluated the situation. Being that I could hardly sit without incredible pain, 90 minutes of rocking on a TT bike's saddle didn't sound like a good idea anymore. So without providing any of the gory details, I tweeted @bredemske that I simply wasn't going to make it. Till now, he didn't know why. Hi Bryan. Sorry I couldn't make it that day. It was because of a raging hemorrhoid on my ass.

From that point until recently, I've been quietly sulking in my convalescence. I went through some dark times, but things are getting better now. Indeed, I'm like a mangy dog, who having gone off to die in the solitude of the woods, has returned to your doorstep with tail-a-wagging and in a dire need of a bath. In other words, wholesome steel-cut goodness is back and is here to stay.

There's your late breaking news. Again, please accept my apologies for not blogging lately. It really wasn't to give Fred homage, but more to deal with this nasty injury.

Next: Part 2 of 3 -- Sunday, Bloody Sunday


  1. Oh my God! That is some funny stuff.

    Looking forward to part 2.

  2. There's no way I'm clicking on that image. I'm just not that sick, man.

  3. Agree with Scott. I was even really scared to click on the medical website.

    And unlike Jon, I'm not so sure I'm looking forward to part 2. I may glance over the posting with my fingers at the ready as censor bars.

  4. Oh, by the way, welcome back to blogworld. We missed ya.

  5. Brady, sorry to hear of your infirmity. Sounds like a real pain in the (you know what). Is it true that Valley Park was first know as Hemorrhoid, MO? Ol'Dad

  6. Jon - Thankfully, I can also now say it's funny stuff.

    Scott & Munson: I am amused by the dilemma facing the reader while deciding whether or not to click that image. And don't kid yourself, Munson. You & I know that you're eagerly anticipating the next installment.

    Hi Dad. Thanks for the sentiments. I never heard that about Valley Park, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was a true

  7. Having read this, I think it would have been best if you had taken a few more weeks off of blogging.