Monday, March 23, 2009

Squatter's Rites: AKA Watering the Grass

This past weekend, the weather was nice enough to get long run on Saturday followed by 3 hours of easy* spinning with Munson on Sunday.

After meeting Sean for a cup of coffee at Crane's, the three of us headed south along the Keystone Trail. It was supposed to be easy*, but Sean kicked up the pace for the first ten miles before thankfully departing. Onward we went until Munson had to stop for at the imaginary restroom beneath the HWY 370 bridge.

picture taken & used without knowledge and permission

It's funny because last weekend, I was riding with Munson along this same stretch of the trail when we encountered the Bellevue bike club's annual St Patrick's Day "Pub 'n Peddle" ride. Perhaps it should have been called Pub and Puddle - we caught a handful of women taking a squat 20 yards off the side of the trail. In truth, it's likely we wouldn't have taken much notice if not for the posted look-out, who clad in neon spandex was yelling, "Look Away! Look Away!!" while frantically flailing her arms back and forth.

Who hasn't needed to take a pit stop along a twenty mile stretch of trail without a single port-a-potty? From Shim's proud territorial markings to little old ladies fraught with grief over the whole ordeal, dignity and grace are lacking from such private moments!

So I wonder, after a couple cups of coffee, can the average Joe ride the entire breadth of Keystone trail comfortably without risking a urinary tract infection?

Of course, it all Depends.


  1. I haven't been that far south on the Keystone since the fall. There used to be a porta-potty in the park just north of Cornhusker.

    Also, if you follow the Keystone on down to Hayworth Park, there are some portable toilets there, plus the camper's bathrooms. Of course, that's another ten miles from Highway 370.

    If you're like me and can easily down a gallon of iced tea and a Qdoba veggie burrito, you might need something with a little more capacity than Depends.

  2. From now on, all my bathroom stops will be referred to as a "Munson Break".

    EXAMPLE: Man, I drank way too much coffee. I need to take a "Munson Break".

    Maybe a catheter running to a third water bottle would be a good solution. ;-)

  3. Eek! Look away! Look away!!

    Eh, whatever. We've all done it or seen others do it.

    Very hilarious post though Brady. Thanks for being so sneaky with the camera.

  4. I think i enjoy urinating outdoors way too much... to the point that i prefer it.

  5. For some reason, that does not surprise me. ;-)

    Now back to my reading "Yellow Streams" by I.P. Freely

  6. Another great reason to put fenders on your bike.

  7. Thanks for all of the comments. The Munson photo, in my humble opinion, is disturbingly iconoclastic. Indeed, what is depicted here is the juxtaposition of natural man, in all of his rapturous beauty, performing one of the most basic functions of voiding while straddling the top-tube of a post-modern aluminum and carbon bicycle. Ah, can you feel the gripping tension and angst?

    Actually, the photo most reminds me of a time when I was about ten years old & teenage Murphini was attempting to explain the cover of the album Who's Next to our dear old Mom.

  8. dang, you beat me to the punch(line).

    Someday, someone will post another certain iconoclastic christmas card a younger Brady Murphy sent out.... it didn't involve anything from the writer IP Freely, but it did involve ocean to be exact... and someone should have been there saying "Look away! Look away!... or maybe the card was saying "Look at Me, Look at ME!!!"

  9. Dude,I have totally peed under that same bridge, the sad thing is that its only a couple miles from my house.

  10. Dude,I have totally peed under that same bridge, the sad thing is that its only a couple miles from my house.

  11. Ok Brady, I'm tired of seeing myself peeing....on myself.

    Please post something new. Perhaps your latest adventure on the MAT system? Maybe a surprising tale of the young Murphy boys' adventures? Or even a cunning rewording of a rock classic?

    Anything but my pee, PLEASE!

  12. Thank you, Mr. Munson. I was expressing, just the other day, my desire to see another witty wordcraft from Mr. Brady.

    I think you'll need to wrestle that damned Crackberry away from him so he can stop Twitting and start blogging again like civilized people.

  13. Crackberry, hee hee. Reminds me of this vid. (Warning some lingo is on the harsh side with some bleeps too - however, it's quite a hilarious cartoon)

  14. How about a picture of Bob vomiting over his handlebars while riding in a pace line and the resulting carnage that ensues. Seriously, I got very close to doing just that last night on the BM ride. I tried a new sports drink and it did not play nice with my stomach.

    Anyhoo... I vote for more "witty wordcraft" and less "Munson voiding". ;-)