Monday, March 23, 2009

Squatter's Rites: AKA Watering the Grass

This past weekend, the weather was nice enough to get long run on Saturday followed by 3 hours of easy* spinning with Munson on Sunday.

After meeting Sean for a cup of coffee at Crane's, the three of us headed south along the Keystone Trail. It was supposed to be easy*, but Sean kicked up the pace for the first ten miles before thankfully departing. Onward we went until Munson had to stop for at the imaginary restroom beneath the HWY 370 bridge.

picture taken & used without knowledge and permission

It's funny because last weekend, I was riding with Munson along this same stretch of the trail when we encountered the Bellevue bike club's annual St Patrick's Day "Pub 'n Peddle" ride. Perhaps it should have been called Pub and Puddle - we caught a handful of women taking a squat 20 yards off the side of the trail. In truth, it's likely we wouldn't have taken much notice if not for the posted look-out, who clad in neon spandex was yelling, "Look Away! Look Away!!" while frantically flailing her arms back and forth.

Who hasn't needed to take a pit stop along a twenty mile stretch of trail without a single port-a-potty? From Shim's proud territorial markings to little old ladies fraught with grief over the whole ordeal, dignity and grace are lacking from such private moments!

So I wonder, after a couple cups of coffee, can the average Joe ride the entire breadth of Keystone trail comfortably without risking a urinary tract infection?

Of course, it all Depends.

Posted by brady at 3/23/2009 06:30:00 PM

14 comments:

  1. Scott ReddMarch 23, 2009 at 10:14 PM

    I haven't been that far south on the Keystone since the fall. There used to be a porta-potty in the park just north of Cornhusker.

    Also, if you follow the Keystone on down to Hayworth Park, there are some portable toilets there, plus the camper's bathrooms. Of course, that's another ten miles from Highway 370.

    If you're like me and can easily down a gallon of iced tea and a Qdoba veggie burrito, you might need something with a little more capacity than Depends.

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  2. Biker Bob/Runner BobMarch 24, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    From now on, all my bathroom stops will be referred to as a "Munson Break".

    EXAMPLE: Man, I drank way too much coffee. I need to take a "Munson Break".

    Maybe a catheter running to a third water bottle would be a good solution. ;-)

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  3. munsonedMarch 24, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Eek! Look away! Look away!!

    Eh, whatever. We've all done it or seen others do it.

    Very hilarious post though Brady. Thanks for being so sneaky with the camera.

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  4. EBMarch 24, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    I think i enjoy urinating outdoors way too much... to the point that i prefer it.

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  5. Biker Bob/Runner BobMarch 24, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    For some reason, that does not surprise me. ;-)

    Now back to my reading "Yellow Streams" by I.P. Freely

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  6. Scott ReddMarch 24, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Another great reason to put fenders on your bike.

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  7. bradyMarch 24, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    Thanks for all of the comments. The Munson photo, in my humble opinion, is disturbingly iconoclastic. Indeed, what is depicted here is the juxtaposition of natural man, in all of his rapturous beauty, performing one of the most basic functions of voiding while straddling the top-tube of a post-modern aluminum and carbon bicycle. Ah, can you feel the gripping tension and angst?

    Actually, the photo most reminds me of a time when I was about ten years old & teenage Murphini was attempting to explain the cover of the album Who's Next to our dear old Mom.

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  8. murphiniMarch 25, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    dang, you beat me to the punch(line).

    Someday, someone will post another certain iconoclastic christmas card a younger Brady Murphy sent out.... it didn't involve anything from the writer IP Freely, but it did involve water...an ocean to be exact... and someone should have been there saying "Look away! Look away!... or maybe the card was saying "Look at Me, Look at ME!!!"

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  9. ShimMarch 26, 2009 at 9:18 PM

    Dude,I have totally peed under that same bridge, the sad thing is that its only a couple miles from my house.

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  10. ShimMarch 26, 2009 at 9:24 PM

    Dude,I have totally peed under that same bridge, the sad thing is that its only a couple miles from my house.

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  11. munsonedApril 9, 2009 at 8:14 AM

    Ok Brady, I'm tired of seeing myself peeing....on myself.

    Please post something new. Perhaps your latest adventure on the MAT system? Maybe a surprising tale of the young Murphy boys' adventures? Or even a cunning rewording of a rock classic?

    Anything but my pee, PLEASE!

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  12. Scott ReddApril 9, 2009 at 8:17 AM

    Thank you, Mr. Munson. I was expressing, just the other day, my desire to see another witty wordcraft from Mr. Brady.

    I think you'll need to wrestle that damned Crackberry away from him so he can stop Twitting and start blogging again like civilized people.

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  13. munsonedApril 9, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    Crackberry, hee hee. Reminds me of this vid. (Warning some lingo is on the harsh side with some bleeps too - however, it's quite a hilarious cartoon)

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  14. Biker Bob/Runner BobApril 9, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    How about a picture of Bob vomiting over his handlebars while riding in a pace line and the resulting carnage that ensues. Seriously, I got very close to doing just that last night on the BM ride. I tried a new sports drink and it did not play nice with my stomach.

    Anyhoo... I vote for more "witty wordcraft" and less "Munson voiding". ;-)

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