I raced the Greenstreet Cyclocross Weekend last weekend. The venue was held at the former Fontenelle Golf Course in central/north Omaha. Kudos to Randy Crist and company for getting that course set up for all of us to have some fun. Good times were had.
The race and course conditions changed drastically between the two days. Saturday was unseasonably warm at 75F. It was also very windy. Saturday night brought thunderstorms and a 45 degree drop in temperature. I don't think it got above freezing all day. The rain actually helped the course by softening it up, allowing for better bite on turns. That, plus running the direction the opposite way somehow gave more recovery between the hammer sessions.
I entered the open 1-2-3 races. The fields were small on both days. I finished 6 of 12 on Saturday, and 3rd of 8 starters on Sunday. For not having trained much cyclocross this season, I'll take those results.
Since cyclcross is a combination of fitness and technical skills, some may wonder how I was able to dial it in so effectively. In truth, nobody probably cares. But I have a story to tell. So like it or not, I'm going to tell you how I did it.
I did it by practicing cybernetics.
My friend David Kohll reminded me about cybernetics a few weeks ago at swimming practice. David is a fierce competitor and is a multi-gold medalist of Masters Nationals Swimming. So he's got some creds. Anyway, David was telling me that he uses cybernetics to imagine his races before the actual event by imagining the venue and how he would perform at it.
Think. Do. That sort of self-fulfilling prophesy mumbo-jumbo.
I took his advice to heart and decided to use cybernetics to prepare for this cyclcocross race and its venue ahead of time.
Fortunately, I had some electronics to guide my cybernetic therapy sessions. It's called the Ninetendo Entertainment System (NES).
The best cybenetics training device for your buck |
- Plug in cartridge, turn on NES.
- Curse when system does not work.
- Pull out cartridge, blow dust off, twice.
- Re-seat cartridge, try system again.
- Curse when system does not work
- Get a different cartridge. Duck Hunt is an excellent choice.
- Jam Duck Hunt into system; quickly yank Duck Hunt out.
- Re-seat original cartridge, try system again.
- Repeat ....la la la, until you see this:
This is what I used to get my game on for the CX weekend. Oh golly, the good times came rolling back when I heard Excitebike's 8 bit theme song:
♫ Bahr bahr-bahr, bahr-bahr-bahr!
bahr bahr-bahr, bahr-bahr-bahr!
ba-ba ba-ba-dah,ba-dah
ba dah-dah-dah-dah, dah!!♫
Lemme tell you something. 1984 old School NES was way ahead of its time. Everything was spot-on. My only issue was that Shigeru Miyamoto didn't provide an option to choose a yellow bike.
Oh well, I chose the blue bike instead.
"BRADY!!!"
♫ Bahr bahr-bahr, bahr-bahr-bahr... ♫
With the nasty weather Sunday, I didn't feel like going to watch the races. Thanks for the cybernetic recap. I think this is proof of what my good friend Jim Easton has been saying about that asshole Shim all along. GSV.
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