Recently, I googled to see what the folks were saying about the BCM brand. What's the BCM brand? That's me -- those are my initials, even when you call me Barry.
So like I was saying, in a moment of confessed narcissism, I took a peek-a-loo to see what was being reporting about my good name, the BCM brand in Omaha, NE.
The Google reported lots of stuff. Most of it was about cycling, and most of that was on gamjams-midwest site. But one outlier that caught me eye was the Annoying comment #1082 thread on beginnertriathelete.com, a one-stop triathlon training calendar and forum. Apparently on this forum, a user by the handle "DEMIGODKNIGHT" (profile) was advising other beginner triathletes from his racing experiences. The problem was, he didn't use his own racing resume. He used mine!
See for yourself:
You barely did any training? More likely: you didn't train and didn't race. That was my time from the 2007 Cornhusker State Games, and I didn't spend over 1000 hours training over two years to have some poser claim those results and say how easy it was to finish a triathlon.
Oh no, you're not damaging the BCM brand on my dime, buster.
Fortunately another user, tdk.teacher, was skeptical of his results
Not to be outdone, DEMIGODKNIGHT went on the offensive and attacked with more of my results, this time even trotting out Old Yeller!
Oh no he didn't! Hey demigod-guy, the BCM brand was founded on that $500 aluminum yellow bike! I'm not gonna take this abuse from you.
Then, user 'Steve in IL' came to my defense. He looked up the race results that DGK was claiming. My results came up as an an instant match.
Hmmm. Funny how those results are precisely the same as those of some guy named Brady Murphy, a 37 year old who finished 5th overall at the 2007 Cornhusker State Games Triathlon.
5 1/31 208 Brady Murphy I 37 M Omaha NE 5 13:17 1:16 1:06 25 36:21 20.5 1:12 5 18:50 6:04 1:10:43
Dude. That's weak. Care to fess up? Or are you also lying about your name, and age?
Yes indeed, the BCM brand is all about 'some guy named Brady Murphy'. Thank you for recognizing that, Steve in IL. After that post, things took a turn for the worse for DGK. Another user found my athlete profile at athlinks.com and posted it. The pile-on followed swiftly. DGK wasn't heard from again.
Ugh. This whole thread is pathetic. Truly. Even blogging about it is annoying, but other than the fantastic ice beard I'm currently growing, I've got little else to blog about lately.
Well DEMIGODKNIGHT, or Robert, or whoever you are, I hope you've learned your lesson: DON'T MESS WITH THE BCM BRAND.
Goldilocks and the 3 Bears
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Let's pick up the story in roughly the middle of the action.
... Goldilocks first sampled Papa Bear's porridge, "Holy shit, that's hot,"
she cried, toss...
2 years ago
I like the BFM brand better. Conveys bad-assness better.
ReplyDeleteBless DemiGod's heart--but he picked the wrong profile to snatch.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised Paula Deen didn't post your results after taking her new diabetes medicine
Reminds me of the time I ran into that pole on the trail and almost broke my shoulder. goidawed - the verification word for posting this.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of that time I paid the neighbor kid 50£ to watch him jump a pond on his Schwinn.
ReplyDeleteI downloaded an app that decrypts and deciphers user names. when demigodknight is entered, it brings up SSN 042 68 4425. I think we are on to something.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that time I had a fourth-degree hemorrhoid lanced and stitched with piano wire.
ReplyDeleteHey Fred, no news on Charlie, but I did find this sweet video on you tube.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=charlie%20burton&source=web&cd=4&sqi=2&ved=0CFIQtwIwAw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGWpHWfaLprk&ei=S4kcT__hH4GC2wXDhdicCw&usg=AFQjCNFZVOyBGTiahk2j4J8Bd-5ZPOGn6g
Shim, you may want to refer to this the next time you upload your Charlie Burton VHS tapes to youtube.
ReplyDeleteCool. Thanks Shim. I found a page that has all the latest tour info on Charlie Burton as of January of 2004. Have you ever seen The video of Buck Naked on Joan Rivers?
ReplyDeleteFred, I was living in New York when they did that show, I remember my friend Craig Anton who formerly played bass with them went to the taping. You may remember Craig from guest appearances on King of Queens and Everybody loves Raymond. Here is a link to his web page.
ReplyDeletehttp://comedians.jokes.com/craig-anton
Brady, thanks for letting us high jack your comments page. It's much funnier than your obsolete skills link. More to come.
Yeah - I remember Craig Anton. I used to go to The Comedy club in Omaha. I forget the name, but it was near 120th and Center in the strip mall north of Burger King. I believe he was regularly there at that time.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Brady, I think Alexis is still mad at you.
ReplyDeleteWow! Alexissss(: is putting the hurt on the BCM brand. Better get damage control over there. Pronto.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, let me categorically deny any knowledge of, nor contact with, anyone by the name of Alexissss(:
Dad, meet my friend Fred. He's 45ish and still has a glimmer of hope that one fine day he'll be a movie star. Any contacts you could furnish him toward this end would be greatly appreciated.
Fred, if one day a distinguished gentleman bearing a vague resemblance to an older version of me rings your door bell and says, "Which one of you is Fred Hinsley?" and then proceeds to pull you outside by your ear, then it's quite possible that you've encountered my Dad.
John if you do decide to go pull Fred (or Brady for that matter) out of his house by the ear, please,please,please let me know I could never forgive myself if I missed it.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty good friends with Stinky's sister; she was in our wedding. I've heard many, many Buck stories, but I was a bit too young to see them live. unlike Shim. Old fart.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah - Well I was over at Stinky's little house, listening to some Hank Williams and Bauhaus with him when he told me his old band "Bump Fuzz" was getting back together as "Buck Naked and the Bare Bottom Boys". So that makes me pretty much a celebrity. And also, check this out
ReplyDeleteFred, my brother and I went to see Primus in St.Louis, I don't recall that drum kit. Do you know the story behind it?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you asked. Les Claypool and company were fans Of Buck Naked and they all kind of became buddies. After Phil was killed, there were a few various types of tributes by Primus. I saw in a Primus CD jacket one time some sort of acknowledgement or thanks to Buck Naked, but I don't remember what album it was.
ReplyDeleteAll the news on Charlie Burton is here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/charlieburtonlincolnthing/
ReplyDeleteHe has a new song and video:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXtEZmCwvvg
Not even for Charlie, I refuse to get a Face Book account. I was unaware that Charlie's target audience was now sority girls, I guess he had to go teenie bop at some point.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you tell me just today that it was Charlie's first album released on compact disc -- and not vinyl -- that caused you to break down and buy a 5-disc CD player at Nobody Beats the Wiz Electronics in the mid to late 1990s?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Charlie. He'll get there someday. You see, Shim eventually got the cd player. He also had a suitcase phone by the end of the century, a Blackberry by 2008, and sometime in 2010, he even started text messaging. I say he'll be following your Charlie Burton Facebook fan page by 2015.
Just after my sex change operation and joining a sorority.
ReplyDelete