Peaches and Herb

So I'm borrowing a bit from the bikesnobNYC, but I couldn't resist on this screaming deal from Craigslist Omaha.


THIS IS A RIUNTE BIKE GIVE AWAY,5 SPEED,BEEN RIDEN MAYBE 20 TIMES,MIGHT NEED TUBES PUT IN,NOT SURE. MIGHT TRADE FOR NEW TRUCK TIRES OR FLAT SCREEN TV

This is a beauty, no doubt. Oh. I mean the craigslist ad. While YELLING at us is always a nice touch, the kicker is the seller's willingness to trade for new truck tires or flat screen TV. Truck tires? I can see a flat screen, but he didn't even give the size of tires. I hate that! Be specific about your fungibles, dammit!

Anyway, allow me to create a word picture for a moment. Let's say that I found some satisfactory truck tires and made the trade. Fast forward to the next time I come home from a five hour ride on Old Yeller. It's time to patch things up with Ms Katherine. Wouldn't this just warm her heart and win her over? I can almost feel the harmony as we'd roll through Elmwood park on this classic.

Uh-oh, I can hear the music in my head again...

I found it very hard to stay away
As we reminisce on precious moments like this
I'm glad we're back together
'Cause I missed your kiss, hey, hey

Reunited and it feels so good
Reunited 'cause we understood
There's one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it
We both are so excited
'Cause we're reunited, hey, hey

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ba-a-a-by

One Bike Ride, One Swim, One Run

Hi my name is Brady. I've been a multi-sport athlete for 18 months. Before that, I dabbled in competitive running for about three years. Until recently, I was able to get by. Lately, the pressures of a demanding work schedule with expected overtime is making me go a little silly. Workouts have became my coping relief-valve. Swimming at 6:00AM. Weights over lunch. Running to and from work. Trainer afterwards.

Then when the weather started warming up, I really hit the bike hard. Sometimes I'd ride with groups. Other times, alone. Solo time trials. Trainer rides after hours. Many times, I'd even spin before work or over the lunch hour. It's sad when you have to spin alone.

The insanity at work continued. The intensity picked up. I was losing sleep and a nagging injury was holding me back from training. Then I started hearing George Thorogood in my head. At this point, I was on the verge of losing it...

Wanna tell you a story about the multi sport blues
I run home from work Friday
Told the woman about my job.
She said that don't confront me
long as I get my house cleaned each Friday.
Now next Friday come I didn't get the house cleaned
and out the door I went

So I go down the streets, down to Fredcube's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house, I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell Ms Katherine I'll cope with the job, I'm gonna clean the house
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go downstairs, pack up the saddle bag,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
So I stop in the local bike shop you know people,
I go to the shop, I rack my bike, I call Newell
Said "Look Matt, come down here, son"
So what you want?

One bike ride, one swim, one run.
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been spinning on Ol' Yeller with a big stupid grin
Gonna mash the high gear man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Don't wanna get punked at the starting line gun
I want one ride, one swim, one run.
One bike ride, one swim, one run.

But I'm spinning on Ol' Yeller,
Gatorades' all drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm mashing the 53, I'm turning the big ring, I'm in high gear
Looked down the road, here comes Munson
I said "Look Mike, come here Mitmon
So what you want?

One bike ride, one swim, one run.

No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
gotta get a ride man ain't gonna get passed
Gonna mash the high gear I ain't had enough,
need me a triple shot of that stuff
Don't want Brendan punking me at the starting line gun
I want one ride, one swim, one run.
One bike ride, one swim, one run.

Now by this time I'm endorphin high,
you know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the handlebars I say to Redemske,
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
Bryan said "cyclocomputer say three o'clock
Last call for Algomaha, so what you need?"

One bike ride, one swim, one run.
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
Don't mind getting dropped man when I barely can speak
Gonna spin the high gear man listen to me,
one hour ain't enough Murphini, better make it three
Don't wanna get punked I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want a long ride in my high gear...

One long ride, on Ol' Yeller, in high gear...

Thank you! Thank you!

Quadro-Frankia

Like a good rock opera, this image says it all.

Act I: Shock. This self-indulgent image of some bloody lunatic named Frank provided a stinging rebuke of Bryan's initial Face-Painting Arsonist post. Awesome!

Act II: Disillusionment characterizes the second part. A few days passes with only a couple comments on Frank. Surely, there's gonna be more. But after weeks of the same thing, the viewer is only left with a retina-burn of Frank and a cold, hollow feeling. Is this the same Ace Face that we once knew? Is The Punk and the Godfather known as fredcube even aware that he's larger than life due to his loyal fan base? Who are you, anyway?

Act III: Is It in My Head, or is everyone feeling the inconsolable frustration at this point? In this act, the blogo-viewer is ripped with angst about the static nature of things at fredcube. We've had Frank for an entire month -- I need something fresh! So leaving no other option, I came to realize that I've Had Enough. Fine. Good riddance! I'll pass my time at the mountain biking forum reading sweet postings about Chipotle burritos.

The Final Act: Call Dr. Jimmy, I'm going insane!! No offense, but the other blogs lack the dry, sardonic humor of fredcube.

Yet somewhere in the midst of this depressing stupor, a sudden moment of pristine clarity overwhelmed me... like the sort of noise you'd expect to hear in heaven, if there is such a place. It's gonna be ok. In fact, the insight is validated by a recent comment posted by Fred on Munson's blog. Indeed, there's hope! Still in a weakened state, yet refreshed by this late development, this blogoviewer is now steely resolved to go forth.

I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The night is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain

Frank can stay on your blog, Fred. Keep him front and center for another month, a year, forever. Once an obstacle, this icon is seemingly an omnipresent inspiration.

Suppose I built a large wooden badger...

Wow. Tough crowd. Thanks to Bryan for bailing me out with at least one comment. And to the rest of you: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

It wasn't really that bad was it? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink?
I mean look at the similarities! It's uncanny!

Ok. I'll put it to rest for now. I suppose it's one of the those things that just because I think is funny doesn't mean that it is for you.

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

Fetchez la Vache! LHF Recap

Twong....mooooooooo!

I -- Patsy -- didn't actually run LHF this year. Sorry! Sorry! It's sad but true. After putting this splendid get-up together, all I could do was run around the old neighborhood while banging those coconuts together.

You see, the cycling crowd has brought out the race-entry slacker in me. When I went to register for the race online Friday afternoon, I got the following:

"Sorry: Register at packet pickup on Fri. Nov. 16 at Living History Farms at the intersection of I-80 and Hickman Rd in Urbandale IA.- 5 to 8:30 P.M. Fee will be $40 for the 7 Mile. No entries will be accepted on race day."

At $40 and no plans to spend the night in Urbandale Friday evening, Patsy stayed home. Maybe next year. I've got extra materials for more costumes...anyone care to join me as one of the Knights of the Round table?

Hey, if the suit fits, wear it. It's only a model...

I have No Shame

I ran home from work dressed like this today.

Happy Halloween.