tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post5280401702996775762..comments2023-08-30T09:57:31.058-05:00Comments on Wholesome, Steel-Cut Goodness: The Sound of the Seasonbradyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12422901243969548083noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post-76297645071307632822012-09-07T19:59:07.908-05:002012-09-07T19:59:07.908-05:00Thanks murphini - I always wondered why they were ...Thanks murphini - I always wondered why they were called "Charlie Burton and the Cutouts". That answers it nicely.Flintstone R Cubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09534736994621915569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post-47423460624180206872012-09-07T16:07:25.971-05:002012-09-07T16:07:25.971-05:00Charlie Burton was cast as Ex-PFC Wintergreen in t...Charlie Burton was cast as Ex-PFC Wintergreen in the 1970 adaptation of Catch-22 starring Alan Arkin, Martin Sheen, Art Garfunkel and Bob Newhart. Alas, his scenes were cut when the memo-currier had sniffed too much mimeograph solution, fell and hit his head on the Kelvinator. The job of re-delivering the script changes that created a greater role for Charlie Burtn were taken on by the Yalie grandson (who later went to Harvard...)of the Senator from Connecticut, who was not yet in the Air Force Reserves, and still drinking heavily. This man later became Decider #1.<br /><br />Unfortunately for Charlie Burton, the script never got there and Mike Nichols, director of Catch 22 thought ex PRC Wintergreen was too prolix.murphinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16784348609645091581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post-72174428426007264302012-09-07T10:11:04.937-05:002012-09-07T10:11:04.937-05:00This story has the Shim Trifecta of happy endings....This story has the Shim Trifecta of happy endings. Paper, Charlie Burton on Glee, and The Cast of House. You're welcome Shim.Flintstone R Cubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09534736994621915569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post-91412848695698265742012-09-07T09:57:53.770-05:002012-09-07T09:57:53.770-05:00The mail clerk panicked. He wasn't the CEO typ...The mail clerk panicked. He wasn't the CEO type. He was just a mail clerk that went to Harvard law, passed the bar, but chose to self-medicate by dodging taxis on a neon fixed-gear bicycle with deep-dish purple wheels over popping paxil and sitting in a stuffy courtroom. He wasn't about to inherit the CEO and boardroom stint. <br /><br />In addition to being a Harvard Law graduate and former lawyer, I should also mention that mail clerk was a vampire. So as the final synapses were leaving the limp body of decider number two, the mail clerk went into action. As the sunlight cast across the board room glinted off his vampire fangs, he began to bend over the body.<br /><br />Just then Shim bursts into the room screaming, "Got any Paper?" He sees the interoffice memo on the floor just as the ex-Harvard-lawyer-fixing-riding-mail-clerk-CEO-vampire was stepping on it to drive his fangs in to decider #2. Shim snatches the memo from beneath his foot. The vampire slips, bangs his his head on the table corner, sending a #2 pencil spinning in the air. Incredibly, the #2 pencil beats the vampire to the floor. The vampire falls on it, driving the pencil between his ribs and into his heart. How ironic, the ex Harvard law-blah-blah-blah-vampire thought: the same #2 pencil that allowed him to score a 1600 on the SAT that launched his Harvard education as a failed lawyer, bike messenger mail room clerk CEO was the one that did him in the end, saving him from an undead eternity of stuffy board rooms perpetually reinventing the shark jump.<br /><br />Shim was left as the last man standing, clutching the interoffice memo in his hands with an exasperated but hurried look on his face. The vampire, gasping his final breath, heard decider #3 say to Shim, "Please honor our former CEOs wishes. It's now on your shoulders to get the cast of ‘House’ To sing the songs of Charlie Burton..."bradyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12422901243969548083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102685661617062574.post-52299454858232949242012-09-07T08:14:27.349-05:002012-09-07T08:14:27.349-05:00Since you asked, I’m happy to tell you that I have...Since you asked, I’m happy to tell you that I have the inside scoop on Glee!<br /><br />The season opens with the long overdue tribute to Charlie Burton. Since losing many of the cast members to “graduation,” the producers have been scrambling for ideas. It was during one of the board room shouting matches that a mail clerk made a joke that will change the way we watch television forever.<br /><br />“If we don’t keep it diverse, we’ll lose our base!,” complained one of the guys in that room.<br /><br />“I’m just saying we need to be a little less ‘gay’. We’ll still be really really gay, but let’s just take it down a peg or 2. I think we need to aim for our Fox News crowd a little.” reasoned some other guy in there.<br /><br />“The Fox News crowd?!? Don’t make me puke. I just got back from a lunch run and I’m right there on the edge anyway.” boasted the first guy.<br /><br />“What the hell’s a lunch run?” Asked the guy who didn’t run at lunch, “Do you mean actual physical activity where you actually, like run with your feet, like out in a park or something? And you do this instead of lunch?”, second guy was incredulous, “I guess that explains your goofy ideas, although honestly, at this point, I don’t remember which of us supports which Idea …”<br /><br />“Excuse me, I have an interoffice for ‘Decider number one’,” interrupts the mail clerk.<br /><br />“I’ll take that kid. Hey. What do you think about the show Glee! How should we save it?”<br /><br />“Me? I don’t know anything about …”<br /><br />“You think we do? Let’s hear it kid? If you were a big executive type, what would you do?”<br /><br />“You’ll laugh,” hesitated the mail clerk kid.<br /><br />“So what? Let’s hear it kid.”<br /><br />“Ok fine. I um, well. I think the cast of ‘House’ is free this season.”<br /><br />At that, Decider Number one dropped the parcel and stood as if frozen while the brilliance of the kid’s idea washed over him. He lost the use of his legs and reached for the table for support, but just missed and instead, thumped his head on the corner, dying instantly. As he was falling, Decider number 2, reached out to grab his friend, but was a little late and slipped on the parcel, also cracking his head. He did not die instantly though. He lived long enough to say to the mail clerk. “You’re in charge now kid. We’ll be watching you from hell. Please honor our final wishes and get the cast of ‘House’ To sing the songs of Charlie Burton. Ack.” <br />Flintstone R Cubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09534736994621915569noreply@blogger.com